A Pawprint on Your Heart: Bereavement Resources for Dog Loss

For many, our relationship with our animal companion, that true life partner who offers gentle, nonjudgmental presence during both good and bad times, is a key component in a quality life. Built over the years through games, walks, and moments of tenderness, that relationship includes both emotional and social dimensions that create a unique bond of connection and mutual understanding.

As a result, our animals become the custodian of our confidences, joys, and sorrows and their loss marks not only an ending, but also the beginning of a new personal chapter. Taken together, this process ultimately is a celebration of life, both the canine companion’s and ours, and the relationship that’s been fostered together.

However, in a society that often keeps aging and death at arm’s length, some people may not understand our devastation when our dog dies. They view a beloved pet’s decline and death as being “easy to get over” and may not understand our intense feelings of sadness and loss. Yet, this part of the life cycle is natural, important, and one to mark, both for our own peace of mind and for our dog.

Saying Goodbye

While death quietly hovers in the shadows as an aging animal companion becomes feebler, grief makes a full-fledged appearance when it comes time to euthanize a companion. This decision, which is one of the hardest an owner faces, is best navigated through keeping the beloved canine companion’s quality of life at the forefront of decision-making and partnering with a trusted veterinarian to identify the best available options.

At this point, many advise to try to focus on the parts of this difficult chapter that you can control. For example, you can ask your vet to come to your home so that your dog will be more comfortable. You also may want to eliminate distractions during that day so you can fully be present with your dog and invite family members and close friends to say their goodbyes.

The Journey into Grief

We have grown accustomed to our companion’s presence, whether it’s their funny behavioral quirks, the clatter of nails on the floor, or the daily routine of seeing to their care. Unsurprisingly, the void that we experience after their death can be very disorienting.

The first step in navigating that void involves embracing our unique grief process, which is the natural, universal reaction to loss. Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross and other researchers describe several stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But these stages are not linear and can vary in the length of time they are experienced.

Certain factors can also complicate this emotional journey, making each person’s grief uniquely personal. Did the pet die suddenly or through euthanasia? Are you dealing with other psychological factors, such as caregiving for a loved one or working in a stressful job? Have you experienced death before, whether through the loss of a previous pet, a family member, divorce or termination from a job? Do you have a stoic temperament, causing you to hide loss and emotions from those around you, or do you worry about being perceived as “overly dramatic or sentimental” if you display feelings about your deceased companion?

This potentially complex moment in a person’s history makes it essential to respect and honor the individual’s unique grief process without the pressure to move forward. You may or may not experience numbness, disbelief, and disorientation, feeling you have lost part of yourself. Preoccupied with the loss of your dog, you may seek constant reminders of their companion.

It’s important to mindfully move through this time instead of following societal dictates to rush through the uncomfortable feelings of loss. To that end, it may be best to maintain a narrow circle of trustworthy supporters who align with your vision of animal companions as family members. Keeping mementos, whether pictures, clay paw prints, a lock of fur, or a favorite toy of our lost companion and sharing cherished memories with this circle can spark important perspectives on grief, which may reshape life’s meaning and lead to personal growth. Additionally, the Blue Cross offers Pet Loss Support, which is free and confidential to anyone affected by losing a pet.

Using a time of bereavement to honor what we had with our beloved animal companion takes us on an emotional journey that celebrates life and reaffirms the importance of a human-animal relationship. Eventually, when we are ready, we reach a place where we’re ready to reinvest in our own life and take steps forward toward whatever is next.

Dorian Martin
&
Harmony Peraza, RVT
Study Participant Manager